If I were a national Republican lawmaker New York César Chelala If a man, I would dress as a woman. If a woman, I would dress as a man. I would buy a horse and, without resting, would go non-stop to Montana and remain there in the woods. Forever. I would erase the word shame from my dictionary. I would also erase the words law, maker, decency, responsibility, morality, duty. I would tell my children that they have the right to be ashamed of me. I would tell my children that, if they want to be respected, they should do exactly as I did, only in the opposite way. I would go into a circus, strangle the clown, steal his clothes, and wear them myself. I would buy a no-return ticket to Siberia. I would volunteer as a traveler to the moon. Next trip. I would shoot a person on 5th Ave., New York. I would hide under my bed, refuse to go out, and tell my children it is a new game I invented. I would stop shedding crocodile tears for things I have condoned/encouraged for 4 years. I would start looking for a new job. According to my qualifications, janitor is a definite possibility. If moral qualifications are considered, then it is not. I would start singing “If I were a coward maaaannn…” to the tune of Fiddler on the Roof as a background. |