NEW YORK VIGNETTES





NEW YORK VIGNETTES

New York     Dr. Cesar Chelala

AN IRRITATING MAN

I never met anyone as irritating as the man who used to sit on the steps next to my apartment building in SoHo. Tall, heavyset, often in shorts, with sneakers and a cane, his sole purpose in life seemed to be to annoy the people in my neighborhood, none of whom could stand the sight of him. He used to ask passersby for money and when they didn’t give him any, he insulted them. In addition, he used to make a bothersome guttural sound which he repeated every few minutes for long stretches of time. The fact that it was practically impossible to get rid of him (the police claimed that he wasn’t doing anything illegal) made the situation even more annoying. Some days he got some handouts, not out of kindness towards him but rather out of fear, since he used to brandish his cane as a threatening weapon. One day, however, as I was coming back home I saw a shabbily dressed man asking him for money. As I was entering my building I saw this unpleasant man handing him a $5 bill saying, “Sorry, brother, that’s all I have for you today. You know, it has been a rough day for me, too...”

MY FRIEND “SARGE

In my neighborhood we have people I call “the regulars” because they are almost always there. They are out of luck people who depend largely on the help of others. By now, the regulars have become almost like friends.

There is Sarge, as we call him, a tall, black, heavyset, intelligent man. He was once in the Army (that’s the reason for his nickname) but with time his health began to deteriorate. Sarge walks with some difficulty. He comes and sits on the steps next to my house at least once a week.

He usually prefaces his request for a handout with a question. “Let me pose you a hypothetical question,” he will say. “Do you think that today there is a possibility you may help me with some change, perhaps also something to eat?” Since he has a genial disposition I am happy to comply.

It is not easy, though, to find foods that he will enjoy, since he claims to have some stomach troubles. I rather believe he is a finicky eater, since there is no specific pattern in what he likes. Despite significant differences in his upbringing, he has something in common with former US President George Herbert Walker Bush: they both detest broccoli.

My wife tends to be more generous with the regulars than myself, so it is not surprising that the three of them like her a lot. “I love your wife” Sarge frequently tells me. When he sees a stern look in my face he adds, “Not in the way you do, though, not in the way you do.” We like to tease each other. A couple of weeks ago I told him, “Hey, Sarge, if you win the lottery will you help me out?”

Quick as a weasel he retorted, “Don’t worry, buddy, I already have you in my will….”

NO ENGLISH, PLEASE

Late in life I became a ping-pong aficionado. I practice it at a senior center near my house.

I was lucky that as I started playing I found a very good companion, an old Chinese man. We get along very well and have the same technical level (very low) so we enjoy playing together.

At the beginning, when I tried to ask him some questions, he stopped me, saying, “No English, please.” So I resigned myself to having good nonverbal communication with him. After several weeks of playing together I was only able to learn three basic facts about him: His name (Mr. Chu), his age (79), and where he lives (Brooklyn).

 

Today they moved the ping-pong tables to a basketball court, which has a huge fan at one end of it. As we started playing, a ping-pong ball fell on the floor. When we both tried to reach it, the ball was quickly blown away by the wind from the fan.

As the ball disappeared into the other end of the room we looked at each other. With an amused smile, my non-English ping-pong companion said to me, “Gone with the wind…”

Dr. Cesar Chelala is a winner of an Overseas Press Club of America award.


 














Copyright 2007 mideast-times.com